Mecrutio

An adaptation of Romeo and Juliet focussing on Mecrutio, set during the early onset of Italian Fascism in the 1930′s.

FADE IN:

INT. MERCUTIO’S OFFICE – DAY

MERCUTIO (Late twenties, brown haired and overly trimmed, in a vintage 1935 suit) lounges at his desk, his feet up. He idly picks at his fingernails with a switch blade.

TITLE OVER

1938, Rome, Italy.

His intercom BUZZES loudly. Mercutio presses the buzzer lazily.

MERCUTIO

Yes, Abraham?

ABRAHAM (O.S.)

Tybalt is here to see you, sir.

MERCUTIO

Send him in.

Mecrutio lifts his finger and reaches for his flask, taking a chug.

The door opens and TYBALT (loud, but kind of charming. Mid thirties) bursts in.

TYBALT

Mecrutio, you knave!

MERCUTIO

What ho, dearest Tybalt.

Tybalt slams down a newspaper on Mecrutio’s desk. Mecrutio ignores it.

TYBALT

How dare you print such garbage!

MERCUTIO

Hmm? Have I done something to annoy you?

TYBALT

You know damn well what I’m angry about! This… this…

Tybalt slams his finger down onto the paper.

TYBALT (CONT’D)

This slander, shall not stand!

MERCUTIO

Shan’t it now?

TYBALT

No! I will have your eyes for this!

MERCUTIO

My eyes? Oh I do hope not. I am rather fond of them.

Tybalt grabs Mecrutio and spins him around to face him.

TYBALT

Listen to me. I know how well you have it with those blasted Montague’s, but I happen to be very close friends with Muti, and the Blackshirts listen to him, let me tell you.

Tybalt spits on the paper and glares at Mecrutio.

MERCUTIO

Oh dear. Not the Blackshirts. What will they do? Bad fashion me to death?

Mecrutio leans towards Tybalt.

MECRUTIO

I think you may find some difficulty finding any lawful reason to set them on me. I’ve been a loyal PNF member since its inception. My loyalty to Mussolini is far from suspect. Now piss off.

Tybalt sputters, then turns around and storms out.

Mecrutio pushes his telecom.

MERCUTIO

Oh Abe? Could you send a towel in?

ABRAHAM (O.S.)

Yes, sir.

MERCUTIO

And clear my schedule for me, would you? I’m afraid I am rather spent for the day.

ABRAHAM (O.S.)

Yes sir. Young Romeo is here to see you, should I send him in?

MERCUTIO

(Under his breath)

God dammit…

(louder)

Very well, very well. Send him hither.

Mecrutio lifts his finger and stares forward.

Someone KNOCKS on the door. Mecrutio waits a beat. Another KNOCK.

MECRUTIO

Come in, Romeo.

ROMEO (A young teenager, well dressed and annoyingly well kept) swoops into the room.

ROMEO

Oh, dearest Mecrutio, an ill omen hath stirred within me on this fine sunny morn!

MECRUTIO

So, the normal then?

Romeo sweeps to the window and stares out across the plaza behind the building.

ROMEO

I am undone. I am un-manned.

MECRUTIO

To be un-manned one must be manned to begin with, dear child.

ROMEO

Do not mock me, Mecrutio, for I am not in the mood.

MECRUTIO

Not in the mood for mocking? You? Such madness I hear! Next you tell me old Adolph isn’t terribly fond of Judaism!

ROMEO

Your tongue may spurn like a thousand lashes, but your heart is kept locked away.

Mecrutio stands up and smiles. He walks over to Romeo and puts a brotherly hand on his shoulder.

MECRUTIO

Your metaphors are getting tangled, my friend. Please, take a seat, have a drink courtesy of the Fascist party of Italy.

Mecrutio walks over to his drink cabinet and throws it open, and pours a shot of whisky into two small glasses. He offers Romeo one, who waves it off. Mecrutio shrugs, and downs one, and takes the other to his desk.

ROMEO

Pfft. The fascists. Their rule shall soon be over.

MECRUTIO

Oh? What makes you say that?

ROMEO

The youth on the streets. They speak of revolution, and of striking at Mussolini’s weak underbelly.

MECRUTIO

Such talk is dangerous.

ROMEO

Yet it needs to be said! The Fascist party cannot stand forever!

MECRUTIO

Nothing does, in my opinion. The German’s thousand year Reich is more likely to end a ten year debacle, if you ask me.

ROMEO

But anyway, I came to speak to you of a dream I had…

MECRUTIO

A dream? What of?

ROMEO

I had a dream. An omen. A warning of our parlay tonight.

MECRUTIO

Oh my, what a wild coincidence. I had a dream with a message as well!

Romeo turns and perks up.

ROMEO

Really? What did it say?

MECRUTIO

It said dreams lie.

Mecrutio walks over to Romeo and grabs him by the shoulders and spins him around to face him.

ROMEO

Pfft. I told you once not to mock me, must I repeat myself?

MECRUTIO

You’re an impulsive one, Romeo. You come in flights of fancy then dive in free falls of misery. My advice is to find a plateau…

Mecrutio turns and heads back to his desk.

MECRUTIO (CONT’D)

…And stay there.

ROMEO

But, my brother… Dreams do not lie. They tell truths divine, one can foretell the–

Mecrutio turns around quickly, a mad smile on his lips.

MECRUTIO

Truths, eh? Well, if truths be evident from the dreams, then you must have met the great Queen Nab.

ROMEO

What?

Mecrutio starts to dance around the office. Romeo starts sulking.

MECRUTIO

Queen Nab, you fool! She lives among the fairies and the dwarves deep in the jungles of the Fairy-dust kingdom! Don’t tell me you haven’t heard of her greatest majesty?

ROMEO

Mecrutio…

MECRUTIO

Oh, but the legends are marvelous! Oh, but wait, if such legends are merely dreams, and dreams speak truth, then they must be facts!

ROMEO

Mecrutio, please..

Mecrutio jumps on his desk, squatting down, his arms spread wide.

MECRUTIO

Then the tales of her carriage, pulled by dragon flies encrusted in the finest gold, are true? That she whips her servants with a string of grasshoppers legs and butterfly wings?

ROMEO

Mecrutio, you speak nonsense–

MECRUTIO

Why, and that she must ride through our thoughts whilst we sleep, giving poets their words…

Mecrutio bows to Romeo.

MECRUTIO (CONT’D)

And giving fools their dreams? Giving soldiers their lust for battle, and giving young men their lust for… lust.

Mecrutio laughs. He jumps down and starts to slowly advance on Romeo.

MECRUTIO (CONT’D)

Oh, but she has her dark side too, oh yes she does. She has a keen dislike of all those fairies and dwarves who are not like herself. She finds them, and she sells them to her brother, the King Ban from the North, who enslaves them, and beats them, and uses him to make his roads!

ROMEO

(Tiredly)

You speak of Mussolinni, and the Jews, don’t you?

Mecrutio grabs Romeo into a headlock and gives him a noogie.

MECRUTIO

Ahh, a sharp one we have! Well, if you be so sharp, then you shan’t listen to those meddlesome dreams. Using people to make roads? Nonsense! You speak right, my friend. I speak in nonsense and silliness, while you speak in naivety and insolence. Come!

Mecrutio pushes Romeo towards the window, spreading his arms.

MECRUTIO (CONT’D)

We have a party to attend, women to woo, and drinks to drink! Come Romeo, would you spare yourself a gaze at the greatest delight a young man can hold?

Romeo smiles slightly, amused.

MERCUTIO

And what is the worst that would happen? You would be barred from entrance? How much difference would that make than if you never went to begin with?

Romeo laughs, and looks down, abashed.

ROMEO

I suppose no harm can be done just by flirting with some girls, huh, Mecrutio?

Mecrutio slaps Romeo’s back.

MERCUTIO

And finally he speaks truth!

Mecrutio leads Romeo out the door.

MECRUTIO

Tell me, since I gave you such wisdom, am I myself a dream?

ROMEO

Mecrutio, silence suits you.

Mecrutio laughs, and closes the door behind him.

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